Monday, December 6, 2010

Plane Crash in Roy

So last night somebody in the neighborhood discovered a plane under their tree. I wonder if they asked santa for that? The plane hit two homes before exploding in flames. Imagine if they had asked Santa Claus for a pony. The pilot, found in the road, was severely burned but lived. The dense fog caused the pilot to land the plane prematurely. This is the third plane to hit a house in seven years here in Roy.

Squirrel News Report.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

sunset

The sun sets on another Autumn day
Soon the hues will all be washed away
like watercolors flushed down the drain
Replaced with ice and snow and rain
And the hazy days where the skies are grey
But in this moment everything's okay
I'll keep this photo to remind me
That once again the sun will find me


okay, I fail creative writing...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Nostalgic Wednesday Playlist.
#1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlUGTof2TWU&feature=artist
#2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR_477WqAE4
#3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ug3_V1H7Q
#4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyGU4nzhirI
#5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU_ow7LmHwY&feature=related
#6
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCPpOba2O4g

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Harvest Moon

If there ever was a sensation of swallowing a hot piece of charcoal then regurgitating sulphuric acid while a midget punches you in the groin, it would probably feel like the Harvest Moon Crit felt last night. I got into the break with hoffman, T-money, and Georgia and right away I was experiencing "cubicle leg syndrome". What's that? It's the slow degeneration of your physical and spiritual being that occurs when you work forty hours a week at a call center. Add on top of that sixteen hours a week at school and it's easy to lose fitness. I held on for 4th but I'm cooked today.

I'm getting pretty sick of the telemarketing game but I'll work there and feign a smile and be grateful to have a means to pay my debt. I would love to suit up in steel toe boots with brass knuckles and rage on the call floor until every cubicle lies in ruin. At least I have my dreams, right?

I'm glad the road season ended well. This has been my most consistent season and I'm grateful for all the support from friends and family.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

remember me?

So welcome back to the blog. Sorry for the lack of posting. There has been some awesome things to write about this summer but I have been busy with other things. I'll try to write some of my favorite moments this year... eventually. Things have been hectic with a stacked work and school schedule. I'm getting a case of cubicle fever and, until the day i hang myself with a telephone cord, I have been feeling more and more creative.

Cyclocross season is coming up and I'm getting excited for that. More importantly, I am finally able to start paying off my debts that I have accrued over the past two years. FUN. I guess untill i get my shit together, "It's a great day here at Qwest..."

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

this weather is lame

Last week it occurred to me how frustrated I had become with racing, so this week I'm opting out of racing the state crit to clear my head and get amped again to compete. I'm making Mt Hood my first Pro/1 NRC stage race. It's got me motivated to get my climbing legs back.

Here's a video i forgot to post a long while ago...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

lately's

Not a lot to report lately... well, there probably has been quite a bit of information to dispense to you but my head is filled with information that I'm trying to keep from leaking onto the table. yeah, it's been one of those full throttle study days where at the end of the day, you have half a notebook of well documented notes and hardly shit done on your assignment. I'm losing my mind right now, but i feel like i'm beginning to feel more comfortable in Adobe Dreamweaver.

Yesterday I went for a ride in the sunshine (more like the calm between two storms), rode the divide, then got caught in a rain and hail storm so vicious i had to seek refuge at Skyline Cycles and call home for a ride. Oh yeah, i was wearing shorts and a short-sleeve jersey. that's a hard-ass dipshit squirrel for you...

oh, Turbo linked this to facebook so i thought i'd share. This is the Alan Butler crit from last season. I literally finished racing the U-23 national time trial in bend, Oregon, then drove halfway to idaho falls and slept in the van, then drove the rest of the way to idaho falls and raced. It was a fun crit. Turbo won it in remembrance of his friend and fallen teammate- which was very awesome. The race came down to us vs. the Bob's bicycle team.

East Idaho Impressions: Criterium from Idaho Falls Magazine on Vimeo.

also forgot to write about it, i got my Category 1 upgrade.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

longest bike ride of the year... so far

121.55 miles in 6hours 7 minutes.

Since Ben D'hulst and I are being coached by Turbo, we both were scheduled to ride for six hours today. We met at the Winegars in Roy and headed west through hooper then out to Salt Lake. The weather was perfect.

In Bountiful, a car full of kids honked at us. I flipped them the bird yelling obscenities and motioning to "bring it on"- zero to crazy in the blink of an eye. Being the infected pussies they were, they sped off. No big deal, we keep riding. Down the road I see this cup of red soda fly past me and those fucking kids again. Ben went ape shit and started chasing them down. They turned and drove up Center Street before we could catch them at the light.

No blood no foul- we laugh it off. We take the bike path along Beck Street and it parks us behind a big dump truck waiting at the light. I tell Ben about how I used to draft trucks like this all the time when i commuted from bountiful to millcreek bicycles. I drafted the semi all the way to the road that goes up to the capitol. Free speed is fun.

When we were riding in Salt Lake, Ben's front wheel slid out on some oil in the intersection of State St and North Temple and he crashed. The bike was alright but he chewed up his palms and landed on his side. He was alright so we continued the ride.

We took North temple to the road near the Hell of the North course. From then we took the legacy parkway to avoid asshole drivers. Ben split around the five hour mark because he had to work, so i rode the last twenty miles solo. I rode to West Warren and then back home to finish off the day at 6 hours.



Sunday, April 11, 2010

news

I applied for my Cat 1 upgrade today. I have 42 of the required 30 points

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Well, at least I'm consistent

Hell of the north: 6th
Bikes for kids Crit: 4th
Bikes for kids TT: 9th
Bikes for kids RR: 8th
Bikes for kids overall: 5th
Tour del sol Stage 1: 11th
Tour del sol Stage 2: 7th
Tour del sol overall: 8th
Callville bay: ? ? ? fuck that race
Valley of Sun Stage 1: 7th
Valley of Sun Overall: 7th



Thursday, April 1, 2010

HOTN preview

Today I pre-rode the course for hell of the north. I lucked out and was greeted by sunshine. I'm looking forward to this weekend. Weird, I've never been this stoked about Hell of the North. Right now, I'm 5 points away from my Cat 1 upgrade. Need some results stat!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Bikes For Kids

Bikes for Kids Omnium
Friday's race was a Criterium in Thanksgiving point. The course was whacked out with a lot of corners and wind. The field split up quick and I ended up making the front group and finishing 4th.

Saturday morning was the Time Trial up Traverse Ridge. I had never ridden that climb and it kicked my ass.

Saturday Afternoon was the Circuit Race. I cramped really bad on the climb and spent two laps riding solo trying to get back onto the group. I finished 8th and ended up 5th overall.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

waiting for the phone to ring


...and be told whether or not I have a job. I'm hoping Canyon Sports calls me back with good news.

In other news, yesterday I climbed the North Ogden Divide four times. It's really motivating me to get my weight down to 140. I guess that's how it goes: you climb and climb and climb until you're emaciated and you can completely justify it. I'll work on losing that extra seven to eight pounds so I can be one of the climbing elite and win the Powder Mountain Hill Climb.

I'm riding easy today with Von Meow. Afterwards I might walk along the BST in North Ogden. Tomorrow's crit is going to be soggy so I want to enjoy today while it's nice.

I'm amped on getting a cyclocross bike. I want to do some awesome road/trail/hike-a-bike adventures.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Ogden Valley is still frozen

I feel like a loser saying this, but today was the first time I've ever downloaded an album from itunes. Popped that digital cherry. The band to take away that e-virginity was thrice with their Red Sky EP. Was it as good for you?

Today was hard. I simply pointed my bike up every hill I could find today. Climbed 40th then 46th then took Harrison to Mountain Road then rode over the North Ogden Divide then around Pineview, then up Trappers Loop to Snowbasin, then down to Mtn Green, then back up Trappers then descended Ogden Canyon and took the Ogden River parkway home. It was cold. Remember when 40 degrees felt balmy? fuck that. I'm ready for summer.

Monday, March 22, 2010

designing logos

I've been working in illustrator for the past two weeks. I'm getting very excited at the progress I'm making with the program. I'm finally putting that knowledge to a profitable use.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Happy Squirrel

Things are definitely looking upwards for me right now. I got a call back from Canyon Sports in Riverdale for an interview on Monday. School is going really well. I also got my first real-world illustrator work. As low-key as it is, I like to think its portfolio worthy. I got out this morning and got a leg-breaking day of climbing under my belt. I really need to put In those 8,000-9,000 ft days otherwise I’m going to get shelled like a bitch at the Gila.

Tour del sol was a huge eye-opener. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get gapped on that first major climb. The headwind at the top was enough to decide the race. I eventually bridged up to the break-away with the help of Aaron and Jesse, but it took a lot of work (all of us got dropped on or after Utah Hill). I’m excited to put in the time and work required to be a pro. I’m seeing the training reflect positively and even though I was tired last weekend, I was able to climb into the top ten. A little tweaking on my diet and ensuring that I sleep enough will eventually pay out ten-fold.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Broadway Calls

Broadway Calls stopped by Kilby Court today and played an awesome show.


Red Son, a hardcore band from Phoenix, also played an awesome set.
I love how the Ogden kids got a shout out before they played "Save our Ship"
Shout out:
check them out www.myspace.com/broadwaycalls

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Friday, February 26, 2010

Callville Day #2

It looks like rain is on the menu for tomorrow's road race. A section of the course has recently undergone some construction so we'll be riding on packed dirt. I read that there are neutral wheels but, considering how organized this race has been, I can't really count on it.

Today we had the time trial. It was a sub-ten minute hillclimb. I was advised to leave the time trial bike at home but I think it would have been better for the course. It was hilly, but not too steep.

Ben Day won the stage with a sub-nine minute time. Phil Zajicek was second. Floyd Landis took 7th. Ben had an awesome ride today finishing 11th. Norm got 20th and I finished 29th. I wasn't feeling it today. When I get back, I'm climbing the fuck out of the divide—and dieting. It's the end of February, so I'm stoked to be doing as well as I am.

We got really gipped at the last hotel so we vacated and relocated to a nicer/cheaper place on Las Vegas Blvd. The internet is free here. I'm happy.

I'm looking forward to the road race tomorrow. The plan is to shadow Floyd Landis, Ben Day & Co. during the race.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Callville Bay #1





Picked up our new kits on the way out of Salt Lake last night. They look sick!

The drive down was a little intense. I don’t know, 80+ mph in a snowstorm makes me nervous. But, then again, I may just be a Nancy. I don’t know what the distraction was but somehow we almost drove off the side of the road.

We checked into Dixie Palm Springs Hotel around eleven. That room was colder than a witch’s tit. I couldn’t sleep to save my ass.

After a pretty restless night, we left the hotel at ~6:30a.m. Stopped at McDonalds so Ben could get a quality meal in on the road. Mc Coffee is fucking terrible. I believe that it was brewed with clown piss.

We found our way around today without a map. That had me terribly on edge. I guess i have control issues.

I can't lie, today i felt pretty good on the hills with 6,000 feet of climbing for 50 miles and an average speed of about 25mph. I finished in the first chase group. I think Floyd Landis was in the break today.

Have you ever been convinced that you had a flat tire and stopped to check it—only to realize that it wasn't flat? I did that today. I raised my hand and everything. WTF? I felt retarded and spent some unnecessary energy chasing back on. Despite everything, I was able to finish in the group with Burke, Chase and Brad Gherig.


Shout out:
Some retarded Mexican rider from the Helen's team caused a crash bickering with some other rider like an adolescent prick. I saw physical contact then the dude crashed right in front of me. It really put a damper on Ben's race. Props to anybody that beats that guy up!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I'm a problem solver

I just finished sewing up the new arm-rest pad for my TT bike. I took the only remaining armrest pad and traced it onto a piece of foam. I then cut the foam out. I chose to use an old cotton dress shirt with a black/red checker pattern for the outside. I then sewed the shirt fabric onto the cut-out foam. Afterwards, I sewed a piece of plastic onto the bottom of the pad. Then i made a hole in the fabric and zip-tied the new pad into place. Viola. It's ghetto but should work really well. I can't lie to anybody, I'm fucking broke. I need a fucking job.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I will miss butter the most...

So here have been the building blocks of my diet for the last little while:
•Peanut Butter
•Oatmeal
•Hot Chocolate
•Coffee
•cheeses
•eggs
•processed foods

...yeah. pretty terrible. Its time to cut out all the bad stuff. No more refined sugar. No more saturated fats. And, let's cut the coffee intake down to one cup a day (ouch...headache time!)

I really need to get on better footing with my diet before the race season really picks up.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Slideshow Bob

Here's a glimpse into last weekend. Enjoy

back on the bike


There's a yellow sign visible when you leave the Frary Peak trailhead parking lot that states: 23% grade. I was relieved when I saw the sign because it reassured me that the pace I rode was fitting for the gradient of the climb. I wasn't the pansy i had been led to believe while climbing.

The weather was terrific when I met up with Ben to go ride to Antelope Island. I was really put off this morning when i woke up to a thicket of fog more dense than hippie pubes. I really wanted to ride and I really wanted to ride to Antelope Island. Luckily the sky was blue again around noon.

Ben and I rode to the Island, then rode the visitor center loop. His ride called for two hours, so he headed back home and I went to Garr Ranch. Halfway to the ranch, I decided to climb the road to Frary Peak trailhead. I rode it simply because the road and I were two separate entities existing in the same dimension at the same time and there was nothing pressing me to do anything but acquaint myself with this stretch of road. Simple as that.

I enjoyed today. Riding gives me time to detox my mind when I feel shitty or down. It's time to reflect on thoughts and unwind.

Here are some things I thought about from VOS:
F@#k what other people think: Before the race the armrest pad flew off my TT bike. I had to put a folded up washcloth on with rubber bands because... well, no other option existed. Some people thought it was amusing and made a point to talk shit.... until i used that wash cloth to wipe my ass after shitting on them in the TT.
Stick to your original plan: Yes, if the original plan calls for waiting until the final two laps of the criterium to TT off the front; don't do it with four laps to go. I wanted to take a time bonus and leapfrog to the podium. I knew the course was technical enough to give the advantage to a solo rider or small group. At four laps to go, two riders jumped and I went with them. Big mistake as we were caught with 1.5 laps to go and I barely hung on for a pack finish.
•Don't panic when shit goes wrong: Nothings going to go perfect. Equipment fails. You forget stuff. Stuff gets lost. going into Panic mode does nothing but harm. Nic's look cleat broke half an hour before his crit on sunday. Instead of panicking, he found someone who he could bum a cleat off of.
•Be prepared: This one ties into the previous headline. Bring spare tubes, some tools, (an extra set of cleats probably doesn't hurt either). Make sure that you bring warmers to the race; even if the weather is supposed to be nice (lesson learned Tour of the Storm 2005!). leave the hotel early enough that rush-hour traffic won't agitate and stress you out.
•Alaskan Hockey Parents should be tied their rotten children and tossed into an abyss: If you are such a f@#k that your kids run through the hotel pulling the fire alarms, playing in the elevators and disturbing everyone on vacation while you sit in the lobby of the hotel drinking beer and leaving empty cans everywhere: Please die.









Sunday, February 14, 2010

VOS update #1

So, it's the morning of the crit and I'm 7th overall. Gotta keep it up right in the crit. Need to take home some beer money!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Disenchanted

Blue was the color of the sky today. The sun smiled happily on me as I rode my bike. Nothing in the world can get me down on such a nice day. Well, maybe the fact that I've been turned down after two job interviews not even a week apart from each other. I've been getting really depressed about the whole situation but there's nothing to really do except keep looking around.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sickness? Forget this!

Well, QBP called today and confirmed what I already knew: There would be a scheduling conflict with school. Luckily, I was intuitive enough to keep an ace up my sleeve. I have another interview on Saturday (fingers crossed!).

Today has been a kick in the balls. I'm sick. I'm tired. Cross out any hopes for a bike ride. I'll use the down time to get ahead on my homework so that I don't have to worry about anything except VOS next week. If I feel better tonight, maybe I'll ride the trainer. Nothing outside.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Kill Phil

Damn, Phil! You're breakin' my balls!

Regardless, the weather this past week has been nice. I'm trying to lay low and take it easy because I've been feeling a little under the weather. I'm walking a tightrope right now, trying to exercise without getting sick. C'est la vie.


Saturday, January 30, 2010

epic comic book coming soon...

I'm taking advantage of this week's lull in riding and working on my photoshop project due Wednesday. I have to make a comic strip using multiple layers, filters and blending techniques. Last night, I hung a neon green sheet on my wall and it works very well as a makeshift green-screen. I want this project to kick ass because the last one was pretty lame.

It's nice to obsess on something other than cycling right now. When I get time, that dumb squirrel on top of this blog is going to get a make-over.

Shout Out:
"Hey kids, don't do drugs!"

Friday, January 29, 2010

It's a puzzle... put the pieces in place.

I purchased my racing license today. I have the money set aside for my share of the hotel expense for VOS. A new stem is waiting for me at Millcreek which will put my road fit where it needs to be. In South Jordan, I have a bunch of Maxxis tires and tubes that need to be picked up. I'm finishing off a nice recovery week and getting the hang of photoshop. Most of the pieces are coming together nicely.

Yesterday's ride was nice. I certainly held back when exerting myself would have been more destructive than rewarding. My legs were pretty tight and fatigued, completely lacking any spring or sprightliness. It was nice, so i just took in the warm (40degrees), sunny day.

I got an amazing massage today from Shayna. My legs feel much better and all the knots are out of my back. I decided that I'll make massage a constant part of my training regiment.







Thursday, January 28, 2010

A few thoughts

It's funny when you think that 40 degrees feels balmy outside.

A cheap substitute for GU is a flask of chocolate syrup and honey.

Tall head tubes are a pain in the... well... nothing i guess. But inconvenient when you're trying to duplicate your race fit.

Somebody should make a frame with a dual wielding machine gun top-tube.

Never bed down with Sasquatch.



Sunday, January 24, 2010

28hrs45min

Twenty-eight hours and 45 minutes: The longest week I have done on a bike to date. I set out today to complete another century and came close. In the end, I was barely able to pedal up 4800 south. It felt like somebody had thrown a monkey wrench into the gears that used to churn my legs and I was spent.

I'm really thankful for everybody's support. I was riding the trainer all afternoon on saturday (11am-5pm), and Anthony came into my room around 2:30 with a cup of coffee. He asked how long I would be riding, so I told him until five. He came back in at 4:30 to tell me I only had thirty minutes left. Then he said, "you're the fastest in the world. It would be cool if you raced and beat Lance Armstrong and you were like... ha ha. Wouldn't that be funny?" My little brother really looks up to me and I can't understand why sometimes but I think it's really rad having a fan.

I'm really trying to find a level of fitness that I haven't had before. I owe it to so many people. I want to represent my team well. I want to be successful and when I don't have the legs; I want to help my teammates be successful. I'm surrounded by good people and I want to give something back. I really appreciate Mike Hanseen and the Millcreek Bicycles Crew. I'm pretty blessed to have been able to spend two years working with such awesome people.

The next week is a rest/recovery week. I'm planning on spending some time with my long-lost friends and getting very acquainted with photoshop. Maybe I'll take Anthony on a ride along the Parkway.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Wanna whack a Poodle?

I'm beginning to obsess. I went for a ride this afternoon hoping to repeat my century ride earlier this week, and ended up pulling the plug three hours into it. I had tired legs and the saddle was chafing me weird. I ended up going home, eating some food, and chillin'.

I hit the road again at 8:00pm and went for a 2.5 hour bike ride. On the way home, without fail, that stupid dog chased me in hooper. I threw a frozen waterbottle at it then stopped. I turned around and chased him back, then scoured the ground and eventually found my water bottle. I want to get a really long, heavy frame pump and stick a nail in it. When dogs chase me, WHACK! Right in the fucking face!

In more animal friendly news, the time trial bike been completely overhauled. I let the brakes and derailleurs soak in a coffee can full of degreaser, then replaced the cables and housing. I put the 56T "business" ring back on . It'll "git 'r'done."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

101.33

VOS is closing in on me and I'm getting my longest week of the year underway. Today I woke up to a snowstorm and decided to hop on the trainer. I got the bike set up but couldn't ride. I ate a pancake and the sky cleared up. So, I decided I would ride my 90 minutes of tempo outside. The roads were slushy but it was warm and I ended up deciding to take advantage of the clean air and sunshine. My feet were soaked and frozen, but I was able to ride a century today. 101.33 miles! In January! In Northern Utah!

I'm feeling that I can do very well at VOS.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Lazy days

Hard time getting motivated to do anything today. Recovery days usually hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to do 90 minutes of active recovery (spinning around on the bike, maybe a walk, something...) but ended up lying around the house all day.

Yesterday was spent snowshoeing, napping and night riding.

Saturday was a drawn-out reintroduction to climbing.



Monday, January 11, 2010

Bicycle Commuting Rant

To the fat sack of shit driving the dodge neon: I'm going to find you and gut you. Not really but I hate lousy drivers that either are too oblivious to notice bikes, or have a skewed sense that they are solely entitled the entire road. How cool would it be to put that same fat sack of shit on a bicycle with 1" tires and deafen him with a horn while he tries to get around a bus or pile of snow in the road?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Team Bike!




I called on the phone to make me a query,
I checked my email from noon to ten-thirty
I paced and I shook and I twitched, what a sight
And tried to be patient, to wait for my bike

On friday, a day that I woke all damn sick,
I drove up to millcreek to pick it up quick
"You worked here before, assemble yourself"
So I jumped with glee, a mechanical elf

I opened the box and to my surprise
A bike with white and red candy cane lines
Christmas had passed, but seemed to come twice
I know Santa had thought I could hardly be nice

The team bike sparkled and I asked it her name
She said it was Claire and at once I came
So I hopped aboard and we rode to the moon
And she slept in my bed, together we spooned

Today we woke early to go for a ride
Despite treacherous cold and the snow outside
We rode up trappers loop, we gracefully climbed
again and again for about seven times...

Then I was tired and she started to groan
"But Claire I'm exhausted and want to go home"
"I guess its alright," she calmly replied,
"As long as you never ride me inside"

...And, that's the story of how i got my team bike. Apparently, I'm never allowed to ride it on rollers in the basement or it will kill me while I'm descending.






Thursday, January 7, 2010

Maybe if I lie enough, I too can win a Nobel Prize

I rode tempo today and jogged. The air was clean but it was so cold it burned my lungs. It was 21 degrees when I left for my ride! Someone should arrest Al Gore for lying to the entire fucking world about global warming. It's abnormally cold all across the country, meanwhile he's flying his jet around, driving SUV's and living in a huge mansion while simultaneously preaching the need to consume less! The whole idea of carbon credits is pretty similar, in my opinion, to when the Catholic church was selling Indulgences. If insanity shall be the norm, then maybe i can sell Al Gore my carbon credits for all my bicycle commuting. Then he can use those credits to burn tires in his back yard or drive his SUV or fly in his jet.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Tempo and Tempura

I woke up at six o'clock this morning because terrorists hijacked my dream and I couldn't get back to sleep. This afternoon I began tempo work on the Time Trial bike. I got home then went jogging (I'm pretty sure I looked retarded and awkward because that's how I felt).

I'm pretty amped on riding 41/2 hours tomorrow. My new layering system (three pairs of socks, shoes, wool sock, windproof bootie, then neoprene bootie) keeps the toes from falling off.

One of my favorite things in the world is fire. I love bonfires. We had a decent little campfire tonight then went and got some sushi at this new place in Clinton. The sushi was pretty good. The place wasn't very busy, so the service was incredible.




Shout out:
Check out Hibachi House in Clinton (across the street from walmart next to Lowes)- Awesome sushi

Monday, January 4, 2010

"Squirrel's Magical Adventure Storybook for Kids!"



Once upon a time, there lived a Squirrel named Squirrely. Squirrelly liked to ride his bicycle from tree to tree collecting nuts in his cheeks. One day, while riding his bike, squirrel ran into a magical homeless box troll. The troll smelled of urine and booze, but told Squirrelly of a magical place called Suburbiana.

Suburbiana is a mystical realm where one can find abundant food with little nutritious value, travel vast distances without walking, and where girl pants are fashionable for all." The homeless box troll began to wet himself then fell asleep. (They tend to fall asleep easily this time of year)

Squirrelly decided to go. “A life with no danger would be fantastic,” he said to himself. So he began to ride and ride. He rode past the river. He rode through the woods. He rode through the snow. He was close enough to smell the exhaust fumes of Suburbania when…

Suddenly a trio of Ninja Dolphins Jumped out and began to kick Squirrelly's ass. He picked up his bike and ran away screaming and crying; a little beaten and raped. "How will I ever get past them?" Squirrelly thought. "They have wet blow holes and I have is a cheek full of magical nuts"

Squirrelly was overpowered, so he decided to use his head to passive-agressively deal with the dolphins. He began hatching plans. When the dolphins fell asleep, Squirrelly plugged their blowholes with some of his Acorns; suffocating them. He ground their lifeless bodies into "Chicken of the Sea" and left them for the wolves.

Squirrelly eventually found his way to Suburbiana. He couldn't get a job because of all the mexicans. He couldn't get laid because he didn't have a big truck. And he couldn't find a pair of girl pants that didn't make his tail look fat and frumpy. His hopes dashed, he decided to take his bike and go back to his tree. He slept warm and cozy the rest of the winter, eating nuts and questionable tuna. The END









Sunday, January 3, 2010

Easy Ridin' Sundays

Sundays are the perfect days for chillaxin' on the bike. 70% of the population is at church and 50% of the population is hung over; so hardly anyone's on the road. I had some awesome coffee, washed the grime and shit off of my bike from yesterday, then rode to the island.

This winter has been pretty mellow. It was cold for a spell, but not bad so far. I've been bundling up and riding. Since September, I've only been riding my TT bike. I'm looking forward to getting my team bike soon. I'm excited about the prospect of summer. But, right now i got to take it a day at a time. I'm trying to stay focused on my goals...going outside and riding is a huge part of that.

Yesterday, Ben and I rode to Crystal Hot springs. got 90 miles and almost 5 hrs in!

Friday, January 1, 2010